I think that the best part of Waking for me was the appreciation I got of not only Yoga but my own self. My body, my abilities, my strengths and the hardships that I have persevered through. Michael was strong enough to fight his illness and seek a deeper and greater awareness of his body than most of us with functioning bodies posses and that is an incredible feat in itself. Similarly, my goal for myself is that I find a true happiness and understanding of my life without holding any resentments towards the mistakes I made in the past. What's done, is done, now I must move forward without looking back, no guilt, no harm done, no regrets. I think this is a similar approach that Michael took in his "true" recovery and what enabled him to get to the stage in his life where he is today.
When Michael talked about the initial troubles he had with yoga, it made my daily complaining about downward facing dog sound ridiculous. In order to further pursue yoga, he had to undergo a major surgery and build up strength in areas that i probably don't even know exist in my body. Yet he was willing to make that sacrifice, take a step into the unknown, for a challenge and risk which hew as completely clueless to. That takes much more strength than signing up for a BIC capstone class and performing yoga twice a week. I won't lie, when I signed up for this class I signed up for a course, not a major lifestyle change, not a critique of my own life or a way to improve my life. Yet that is exactly what I got in return and the more I go to class, the more I realize that this is no ordinary Baylor course. It moves you, it changes altruistic you and molds you into your truer you. I guess that's why when Michael was faced with that difficult decision to venture into the unknown and undergo a major surgery, he had no hesitations and went forward with it without any mental reservations.
I was still curious at the end of the book to learn more about his relationships with his wife, with his mother now, and his brother. I wanted to know a little bit about their recovery process and whetehr or not they were able to heal in a way that was similar to Michael. More than anything I wanted to know more about Michael's relationship with his children and how he deals with day to day parenting issues like broccoli and spinach for dinner or night terrors. In a sense I feel like listening to his parenting troubles and how he overcomes them everyday would help me to overcome my own frustrations as a mom. Who knows, maybe it would guilt me into being more towards my son (not that I'm not already).... I won't deny the fact that at times I feel like I take him for granted and its only at moments when he's not with me (either at school or with his father on the weekends) that I truly begin to appreciate him and miss him. I appreciate his innocence and kindness, his trust in me and his laugh. Some things only a mother can understand and maybe that's why I want to know more about Michael's mother, her recovery and her recuperation. I know that when he wrote his mother was pushing for him to survive, to stick in there that it was equally for her as it was for him.
Overall, I wouldn't change this book at all, if anything I would have a follow up book, something to keep the readers posted on his life, almost like a blog. I feel like once I read his book, in a sense I became a part of Michael's family and grew a true concern for him. I think that as an author, that is a pretty remarkable achievement.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Waking Part 1
I absolutely fell in love with this book. I felt so moved by the author's story and really felt a connection to him because his language was so relatable and covnersational. I think the beginning of his story was the most touching to me because it showed the struggle of a kid and how he had to grow up so fast. I feel like in a way I could understand his situation having had a child at a very young age, forced to grow up before my time. When Sanford talked about his relation to his mother I felt so touched because he really connected in such a mature way to the situation he was placed in. I think the task of his mother when he was in the hospital at 13 was harder than his own journey in a way. I can't imagine having to watch my son suffer like he did while dealing with the lost of another child and my husband. She must truly be a strong and courageous woman to have endured all that she did while composing herself and motivating her son to want to live without two of his limbs.
When I was 12 years old I was hospitalized for a blood disorder called HSP. It caused the blood vessels in my legs to over react and pop causing internal bleeding and slowly it creeped up toward my kidneys. I missed most of my 7th and 8th grade but miraculously passed and went on to complete high school relatively unscathed. However I still remember those two years as hell for me. I lost so many friends, none of them drove to the hospital to come see me and my parents were so stressed that the pressure of the family falling apart felt like it was on my shoulders.
I also felt so concerned for Sandel's older brother who was burdened with growing up sooner than his time as well and ignored as the healthy child. I feel like my twin sister felt the same way. Neglected and forced to console herself I also felt like I was personally responsible for her sorrow and the reason for some of the built up resentment she had latter on in our lives. Luckily Sandel wasn't faced with this awkward situation and was comforted by his brother.
When Sandel talked about the memory he had of his sister Laura Kathleen, I thought it was so sweet that he had such a close connection with his sister who was so much older than him. When he talked about his sister visiting his dreams and giving him messages I felt like it was his subconcious masked in a beautiful disguise. However it was so eerie to hear all the hidden signs that Sandel was faced with just days before the crash. For example, finding out that his girlfriend's older brother wa paralyzed, his sister talking about dying and his mother forseeing herslef having another lover that was not Sandel's father. Sometimes I feel like these thoughts that come into our minds are just inner-feelings that we subdue on a daily basis but sometimes they fight their way to the top and become relevant memories/moments in our lives. At other times I believe that these glimpses into our future are a gift from God to lead us the right way steer us clear of obstacles and dangers. However I feel like Sandel's description of his visions and family's clues were really just by chance scnearios that were looked back on at latter times after the accident and connected to it.
I really enjoyed the journey of Sandel recovering and who his role models were and how they taught him to heal in different ways. It was nice to know that he was able to recieve glimpses of hope and inspiration from them to keep pushing for a future life that he was not familiar with. Most of the questions that he asked were so innocent yet mature that I really sympathized with him. For example when he asked Dennis about sexual activity and how the parapalegics he met still continued to have relationships with their wives. Or the questions about the different kinds of wheel chairs that are available, how the axles affect how smooth the ride is and how much upper body strenght all his role models have. It was astonishing to see how intuned Michael was to minute details about the people he met during this period in his life. He notes particular mustaches, moles, muscles, and hair styles. I guess since he lost mobility in two of his limbs he gained insight into more of his other senses. I think I was very shocked to see Sandel take such a differnt role in his life after his recovery. He talked about Steve so highly, noting his athletic body and winning multiple gold medals at the worldwide Paralympics that I for sure thought that he would go on to pursue an athletic career because he was so intuned with his own body. I suppose that in a way that is why he turned to Yoga and connected to his body from the inside out.
I think that the one passage that caught my attention more than anything in the book was: "When I watch relatively healthy people ride the moving sidewalks in airport terminals or take an elevator up a single floor, I wonder about these choices. When I trade the feeling of warm water running over my hands for the convenience of a dishwater I know that I am losing something" (Sandel 117). This one passage made me feel so ungrateful for all the times that I chose to use the elevator rather than walk up the stairs, or skip physical training with ROTC to gain a few more minutes of sleep in the morning. There are so many things that I take for granted and his innocent description of this really enlightened this feeling within me, a feeling of taking advantage of my body to my fullest ability, really appreciating all that I am given by God and all the opportunities that I have been given in my life that others have not been.
When I was 12 years old I was hospitalized for a blood disorder called HSP. It caused the blood vessels in my legs to over react and pop causing internal bleeding and slowly it creeped up toward my kidneys. I missed most of my 7th and 8th grade but miraculously passed and went on to complete high school relatively unscathed. However I still remember those two years as hell for me. I lost so many friends, none of them drove to the hospital to come see me and my parents were so stressed that the pressure of the family falling apart felt like it was on my shoulders.
I also felt so concerned for Sandel's older brother who was burdened with growing up sooner than his time as well and ignored as the healthy child. I feel like my twin sister felt the same way. Neglected and forced to console herself I also felt like I was personally responsible for her sorrow and the reason for some of the built up resentment she had latter on in our lives. Luckily Sandel wasn't faced with this awkward situation and was comforted by his brother.
When Sandel talked about the memory he had of his sister Laura Kathleen, I thought it was so sweet that he had such a close connection with his sister who was so much older than him. When he talked about his sister visiting his dreams and giving him messages I felt like it was his subconcious masked in a beautiful disguise. However it was so eerie to hear all the hidden signs that Sandel was faced with just days before the crash. For example, finding out that his girlfriend's older brother wa paralyzed, his sister talking about dying and his mother forseeing herslef having another lover that was not Sandel's father. Sometimes I feel like these thoughts that come into our minds are just inner-feelings that we subdue on a daily basis but sometimes they fight their way to the top and become relevant memories/moments in our lives. At other times I believe that these glimpses into our future are a gift from God to lead us the right way steer us clear of obstacles and dangers. However I feel like Sandel's description of his visions and family's clues were really just by chance scnearios that were looked back on at latter times after the accident and connected to it.
I really enjoyed the journey of Sandel recovering and who his role models were and how they taught him to heal in different ways. It was nice to know that he was able to recieve glimpses of hope and inspiration from them to keep pushing for a future life that he was not familiar with. Most of the questions that he asked were so innocent yet mature that I really sympathized with him. For example when he asked Dennis about sexual activity and how the parapalegics he met still continued to have relationships with their wives. Or the questions about the different kinds of wheel chairs that are available, how the axles affect how smooth the ride is and how much upper body strenght all his role models have. It was astonishing to see how intuned Michael was to minute details about the people he met during this period in his life. He notes particular mustaches, moles, muscles, and hair styles. I guess since he lost mobility in two of his limbs he gained insight into more of his other senses. I think I was very shocked to see Sandel take such a differnt role in his life after his recovery. He talked about Steve so highly, noting his athletic body and winning multiple gold medals at the worldwide Paralympics that I for sure thought that he would go on to pursue an athletic career because he was so intuned with his own body. I suppose that in a way that is why he turned to Yoga and connected to his body from the inside out.
I think that the one passage that caught my attention more than anything in the book was: "When I watch relatively healthy people ride the moving sidewalks in airport terminals or take an elevator up a single floor, I wonder about these choices. When I trade the feeling of warm water running over my hands for the convenience of a dishwater I know that I am losing something" (Sandel 117). This one passage made me feel so ungrateful for all the times that I chose to use the elevator rather than walk up the stairs, or skip physical training with ROTC to gain a few more minutes of sleep in the morning. There are so many things that I take for granted and his innocent description of this really enlightened this feeling within me, a feeling of taking advantage of my body to my fullest ability, really appreciating all that I am given by God and all the opportunities that I have been given in my life that others have not been.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Week 12 Post!
Reading Response:
These chapters made me particularly hungry. When Krishna talked about the various kinds of foods that you should feed the gods I began thinking about my own diet and how the foods that I eat do affect the mood that I am in. I went onto a website to research some of the differences between satvik, rajasik and tamasik foods and noted that I love mangoes and pomegranates and mangoes and pomegranates are satvik foods which bring clarity and perception. Then I realized that in the Pakistani/Indian diet we eat a lot of lentils which are Tamasik foods and cause lethargic behavior and deep sleep. No wonder we always feel like resting right after dinner. Lastly there were Rajasik foods which are typically spicy and salty that are both stimulants and irritants. I think that after reading this chapter from here on out I will be more conscious of what I put into my mouth and will be more aware of my mood swings and the cause for them. (not that I have a lot). I really liked learning about the contrast between the two words Sanyasa and Thyaga and how Krishna explained it. He stated: that Sanyassa is the relinquishment of actions prompted by desire the sages understand as sannyasa. The relinquishment of the fruit of all action the wise declare to be tyaga” (18:2). But I understood it to be relinquishing anything and everything from which your desires and emotions stem. Also Krishna talked about the 3 fruits and explained that "The fruit of action for those who have not renounced when they depart [die] is threefold: undesirable, desirable, and mixed. But for the renouncers [sannyasis] there is none whatever” (18:12). This seemed like such a simple, yet practicle saying that I think it is my new favorite quote from the Gita. I really felt touched by it because it puts in layman's terms that for people who renounce worldly pleasures like in the Yoga sutras, there are less problems and less complications. The world becomes simpler and less abstract. I thought it was an excellent lesson to teach Arjuna and future readers.
Practice Response:
During this week's practice I felt a great strain in my knees. I'm not sure if I pulled one of them or I injured myself in ROTC or playing intramu sting rals but my right knee is really giving me some trouble. It was especially prevalent when we were doing dandasana which seems like the easiest or one of the easiest poses on a regular basis and I felt a sharp in my right knee. I hope that i didn't somehow injure it some more because of Yoga. I hope to be back to 100% soon but the pain hasn't subsided since we did yoga. I guess I just twisted it somehow. If anyone has any advice on how to make it feel better or stretch it out even though I think it's in my joint or ligament please let me know and keep me in your prayers.
Week 10 Post!
Reading Response:
Chapter 9 and 10 confused me more than any other chapter in the Gita. It talked about how to achieve Bhakti yoga or what Bhakti yoga really was. Krishna kept talking about how once the head is Krishna that the entire group is therefore then Krishna. I guess the terms just seemed to confuse me because I wanted sure if he was talking about himself or if he was talking about the enlightenment that he has already gained. Also it seemed strange to me that when Arjuna asked Krishna to list his qualities he said that this was to big a task for even him. I guess in Hinduism the idea of deities is similar to that found in Greek/Roman mythology. They seem to be more human than the monotheistic, omnipresent view that Christianity, Judaism and Islam believe. Also another puzzling idea in chapter 11 was the idea of Viswarupa. When Arjuna asks to see Krishna in his true form with all his wealth he was taken back by it and astonished that it encompassed all of the things of the universe. Does that mean that Brahman and Shiva are both apart of Krishna's viswarupa? If so, are all material AND non material things a part of this viswarupa? I didn't quite understand if this was a vision or a form that Krishna took or if it was something that was received while meditating. The description was very vague and I didn't understand the concept or point of it all.
Practice Response:
I really enjoyed doing more of the hip openers today but I feel like my hips are open enough. I don't care to become more flexible in my hips because I don't think that it helps me in any sort of daily activity. I thought of a funny joke while we were doing them though...Dr. Schultz asked if everyone's hips felt open enough and I thought to myself, I'm a mom, of course my hips are open enough, if anything I need them to be more closed and to shrink. It was funny at the time but I guess it was one of those, "had to have been there" ideas. Well in the future if we do bound ankle pose I hope to be more flexible and bend down closer to my pelvis but for now I'll have to struggle and get frustrated while doing hip openers.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Week 9 Post!
Reading Response:
I completely agreed with Krishna's response to Arjuna's question. Even though I would say I'm a hypocrite when it comes to it. Krishna states that action is the best way to nirvana of renunciation because in renunciation one just gains knowledge but not understanding that knowledge and action are the same. The wording threw me off at first but I understand it better now. When I used to explain to my friends that I don't eat anything that's not halal (zabiha=sacrificed in the name of god ritually=muslim version of kosher) or drink alcohol, they would state that that's a stupid reason to restrain myself of food and drinks. One of my friends explained it to me like this: Nabi, if you don't want to drink alcohol or eat non-halal meat thats fine, but do it on your own will not another's. Base it off of your own ideology, not another's. He said if anything, try it and find out that it actually is pleasing to consume, because then restraining from it will be even more of a feat than having never tried it and staying away from it. It made sense to me at the time but i've never consumed any of it anyways. I guess its a little hypocritical but what can I say? I'm stuck in my ways and habits. Well the advice that Krishna gave Arjun made me think of my experience with food and alcohol.
One passage that I think was really aligned with the Yoga sutras was when Krishna describes divinity by stating "These people are neither "elated by good fortune, nor depressed by bad," and live in constant joy. They do not look for peace in the sensual pleasures of the world, but rather in the "joy, rest, and light" that comes within themselves. These people see self-realization as their only goal, and make this quest the foundation for daily living". This reminded me of sutra 1.24 "God is the supreme being, totally free from conflicts, unaffected by actions and untouched by cause and effect".
Practice Response:
I really enjoyed our yoga practice last week. It was extremely relaxing and time seemed to go by so fast. I don't know if Dr. Schultz meant to make it relaxing for us since we were going on Fall Break but it helped me relax a lot and get more focussed on my weekend of studying. I also enjoyed the breathing exercises toward the end of class. It seemed like a majority of the class we were doing chest opening exercises. I liked it, but this week I would like to focus more on legs, specifically quads.
I completely agreed with Krishna's response to Arjuna's question. Even though I would say I'm a hypocrite when it comes to it. Krishna states that action is the best way to nirvana of renunciation because in renunciation one just gains knowledge but not understanding that knowledge and action are the same. The wording threw me off at first but I understand it better now. When I used to explain to my friends that I don't eat anything that's not halal (zabiha=sacrificed in the name of god ritually=muslim version of kosher) or drink alcohol, they would state that that's a stupid reason to restrain myself of food and drinks. One of my friends explained it to me like this: Nabi, if you don't want to drink alcohol or eat non-halal meat thats fine, but do it on your own will not another's. Base it off of your own ideology, not another's. He said if anything, try it and find out that it actually is pleasing to consume, because then restraining from it will be even more of a feat than having never tried it and staying away from it. It made sense to me at the time but i've never consumed any of it anyways. I guess its a little hypocritical but what can I say? I'm stuck in my ways and habits. Well the advice that Krishna gave Arjun made me think of my experience with food and alcohol.
One passage that I think was really aligned with the Yoga sutras was when Krishna describes divinity by stating "These people are neither "elated by good fortune, nor depressed by bad," and live in constant joy. They do not look for peace in the sensual pleasures of the world, but rather in the "joy, rest, and light" that comes within themselves. These people see self-realization as their only goal, and make this quest the foundation for daily living". This reminded me of sutra 1.24 "God is the supreme being, totally free from conflicts, unaffected by actions and untouched by cause and effect".
Practice Response:
I really enjoyed our yoga practice last week. It was extremely relaxing and time seemed to go by so fast. I don't know if Dr. Schultz meant to make it relaxing for us since we were going on Fall Break but it helped me relax a lot and get more focussed on my weekend of studying. I also enjoyed the breathing exercises toward the end of class. It seemed like a majority of the class we were doing chest opening exercises. I liked it, but this week I would like to focus more on legs, specifically quads.
Week 8 Post!
Reading Response:
Arjuna's experience or dilemma while fighting in the war is a noble one. I feel like it resembles some of the thoughts that people in the U.S. civil war would have felt, fighting their kin in battle. It was really important what Krishna said however, that Arjuna should " follow his dharma, or duty, where nothing is higher than the war against evil". I feel a similar struggle with my decision to join the Air Force. When I was much younger, I wanted to join the Air Force because I wanted to fly, I didn't care about killing people or even helping anyone for that matter. I wanted wings. (And at that time, red bull had not been invented). Anyways, it was only as I got older that I realized that my dream job was in fact a profession of arms and required a great deal of discipline in war. During bootcamp we weren't brainwashed like many people think, but instead we were told that in our profession, when we take that oath, we are sworn to fight all enemies foreign and domestic. We picked apart every part of the oath of office and the airmen's creed which basically tells you what you are supposed to do if you become a POW/MIA. Nevertheless, it was good exposure for me to understand that my future career will not be any kind of child's play. Lives are at stake. Well that sort of reminded me of Arjuna's experience on the battle field. I hope I never have to choke like that though.
I really liked the portrayal of Krishna. He seemed so selfless, almost to the point that it wasn't attainable as a mortal for Arjuna. He explains pretty simply though how to serve others and put aside selfish desires for the true gift which keeps giving. It seemed kind of daunting however about how to achieve the state of Brahman. I guess its not supposed to be simple but it requires a lot of selfless action, almost like an ascetic.
Practice Response:
I really enjoyed our practice of yoga this week. I don't know how but I think I am getting more flexible slowly but surely. I felt really proud of myself when I could do the arm twists with such ease. I guess Dr. Schultz was right, those are the poses god blessed me with. Now if only I could become more flexible in my legs. I still dislike doing head stand more than shoulder stand. But I guess that's understandable considering its more pressure on your head. I just have a hard time swinging my legs up over my head to get into the pose. If someone helps me get into the stance I have absolutely no problem from there on, but its very difficult to get in the right position. I wonder if it has something to do with my placement in regards to the wall?
Arjuna's experience or dilemma while fighting in the war is a noble one. I feel like it resembles some of the thoughts that people in the U.S. civil war would have felt, fighting their kin in battle. It was really important what Krishna said however, that Arjuna should " follow his dharma, or duty, where nothing is higher than the war against evil". I feel a similar struggle with my decision to join the Air Force. When I was much younger, I wanted to join the Air Force because I wanted to fly, I didn't care about killing people or even helping anyone for that matter. I wanted wings. (And at that time, red bull had not been invented). Anyways, it was only as I got older that I realized that my dream job was in fact a profession of arms and required a great deal of discipline in war. During bootcamp we weren't brainwashed like many people think, but instead we were told that in our profession, when we take that oath, we are sworn to fight all enemies foreign and domestic. We picked apart every part of the oath of office and the airmen's creed which basically tells you what you are supposed to do if you become a POW/MIA. Nevertheless, it was good exposure for me to understand that my future career will not be any kind of child's play. Lives are at stake. Well that sort of reminded me of Arjuna's experience on the battle field. I hope I never have to choke like that though.
I really liked the portrayal of Krishna. He seemed so selfless, almost to the point that it wasn't attainable as a mortal for Arjuna. He explains pretty simply though how to serve others and put aside selfish desires for the true gift which keeps giving. It seemed kind of daunting however about how to achieve the state of Brahman. I guess its not supposed to be simple but it requires a lot of selfless action, almost like an ascetic.
Practice Response:
I really enjoyed our practice of yoga this week. I don't know how but I think I am getting more flexible slowly but surely. I felt really proud of myself when I could do the arm twists with such ease. I guess Dr. Schultz was right, those are the poses god blessed me with. Now if only I could become more flexible in my legs. I still dislike doing head stand more than shoulder stand. But I guess that's understandable considering its more pressure on your head. I just have a hard time swinging my legs up over my head to get into the pose. If someone helps me get into the stance I have absolutely no problem from there on, but its very difficult to get in the right position. I wonder if it has something to do with my placement in regards to the wall?
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